Music has been an ever-present companion in my life. It has helped me relive nostalgic moments, process the now, and even manifest my future. This is evident when looking at the way I listen to music.

People who know me know that I’m a little psychotic when it comes to my Spotify playlists. All of my two hundred fifty-four playlists (spanning from 2015 to now) have been handpicked and carefully curated to echo a specific mood, event, or person. This playlist-making ritual has evolved over the years to the point where the gibberish names and scramble of songs don’t seem to make sense to any other person but me—and that’s how I like it.

However, lately, there has been a noticeable void in my listening. Songs haven’t seemed to feel the same as they once did. I first noticed this while listening to “About You” by The 1975. I was driving around my hometown late into the night and I could sense the song about to play. 

Then, finally, I heard the recognizable distortion of instruments that always seemed to pull on my heartstrings. I was waiting for the feelings in my body to catch up to what I was hearing in my ears, but the feeling never came. This is how I knew something was very (very!) wrong.

Now, I’m aware that everyone processes music differently and not every song will make you feel like you’ve been repeatedly shot in the chest. But, the thing is, this was the song that had always made me feel this way. Since the first time listening to the song when the album dropped, I had an emotional attachment to it. 

So, when the song played and it didn’t make me want to rip my heart out, I questioned everything. How could this be? The instrumentals, the raw emotions, and the memories attached—all of which have affected me physically in the previous months— gave me nothing now. Nothing at all. 

It seemed as though my worst fear had come true—the song was hitting the ‘song graveyard’ (the places songs go after I eventually get sick of them). This was devastating because I hadn’t listened to it nearly as much as most of the songs I have gotten sick of in the past. It also happened so fast so I felt the ‘stages’ weren’t complete.

Music lovers know the all-too-familiar stages of a song obsession:

1. You live your life not knowing the song
2. You hear it for the first time and there’s a part that makes you go ‘Wow’
3. You listen on repeat because you can’t get enough of that specific part
4. You become obsessed with the song overall
5. You listen to it all day, every day for weeks
6. Suddenly you get sick of it and can’t listen to it again
7. Repeat with a new song

Then it hit me. Even though I wasn’t consistently listening to this song all day, every day, I had been subconsciously hearing it all the time—through TikTok.

Since the subtle integration of TikTok into the daily routines of most American children and young adults, there has been a shift in the way music is listened to. With the entire app’s focus on videos with sounds, there’s no way to escape this. 

What typically happens on the app is a few ‘sounds’ will become a trend from anywhere from a week to a month, but it will live in the ears of users for months after its initial trend. These trends often emerge from the creative and ultimately catchy snippets of music that users put in their videos. Once posted, they quickly spread like wildfire through the platform and it’s hard to scroll through even ten videos without the repetition of at least one song.

TikTok has somehow configured a consistent ‘earworm’ factory within its coded algorithm and it affects me daily.

As a result of this, even if you don’t consciously seek out or listen to a particular song, TikTok trends ensure that you’ll encounter them regularly. It has become a powerful force in shaping our music consumption habits, especially my own. Songs can gain this immense popularity simply by becoming a popular sound on TikTok and there’s nothing you can do to get this sound away from you. 

If a song you love starts trending, just wait. Eventually, you will become sick of it.

It was through this cycle that I had gotten sick of “About You” so soon. A small piece of it became super popular, and suddenly, I heard it everywhere! It played over and over in videos and showed up on my ‘For You Page’ all the time, to the point where it drove me away. The song, once my go-to favorite, got worn out from being everywhere, and it felt like it lost what made it special to me. 

Now, I’m not saying we should gatekeep all of our favorite songs so no one can listen to them, I’m saying I wish we could limit the frequency we hear these songs. It’s not about exclusivity, but finding a balance in appreciating them without reaching the point of over-saturation.

Of course, my shout into the void goes unheard as these social media algorithms just regurgitate back to you what you give to it. The ‘For You Page’ is just reflecting back to us what we input into them, but it gives it back at an exponential rate, giving us more content than we could ever need.

As I reflect on the impact of TikTok on my personal connection with music, I can’t help but feel a sense of nostalgia for the days when my Spotify playlists were my own intimate spaces, carefully curated and protected from any TikTok trend. Now, so many songs in my playlists are songs that are simply stuck in my head from listening to them over and over again on TikTok.

Even though the state of algorithmic music trends doesn’t seem to be changing,  I’m still holding onto hope that we can restore the experience of truly listening to songs and seeking comfort in them, free from the disruption of popular social media trends.